Not everyone can have an ex... But if you do, here are some key rules to follow for the most effective aftermath:
1. It doesn't matter how much fun you guys have together, or how many times you hang out with each other: Understand that it is never going to be the way it was when you originally started dating. And stop bringing up the past in the form of reminiscing. Erase that image from your mind, it's no longer realistic.
2. An ex can be a good person to have around... For those of you who are looking to better yourself for future relationships, you can look to your ex for what you might be able to change. But you have to take this advice with a grain of salt and keep in mind that he or she may say things out of spite, or simply because they still want you for themselves. So ultimately, you have to decide who you want to be, and who you want to be that person for.
3. Stop leading each other on. Stop sending the "What are you doing?" text messages as its only a way to keep tabs and to make sure that they arent playing 'happy couple' with someone else. Do you truly care what he or she is doing or are you just being nosey? Most of you won't admit that you are just being nosey.
4. Do not talk about your ex to the person you are currently trying to date. They don't care. Even when they ask "how was your last relationship," the only response they truly want is whether it was good or bad. Nothing more. They don't care about how many things she/he bought you on anniversaries or how many times you guys broke up and went back out, nor the reasons behind that. If you are trying to move on, then move on. Leave the past in the past.
5. Don't take trips down memory lane. You will find most of the time, you are traveling alone. Especially if you still have feelings for your ex and they are not mutual. You will bring up something that once made you smile, and chances are, your ex has some repressed memory about that event and will make you feel twice as bad for bringing it up in the first place. Don't do it to yourself.
6. If your ex says they have moved on. They probably have. It's not okay to be bitter towards them about their decision to move on, nor is it okay to bring up the past in an attempt to confuse them more. This will only make them resent you more and they will possibly decide to remove you from their life altogether. If you still want to be in their life, be smart: Don't piss them off.
7. Except the fact that its over. Sometimes you stick around because you hope things will go back to "normal." If you have decided to stay in your ex's life, make it be because you truly care about them as a person and what they are able to contribute to your life. Not because you want to get back with them or ruin their chances of anyone else trying to date them. That's the worse reason to stick around.
8. Stop comparing everyone to your ex. No one is going to be an exact replica and it is a waste of time to look for that. If things were so great with your ex, you would still be together... Except each new person as a chance for a fresh, new start.
If there are other things that you feel should be a rule to having an ex, please share your wisdom below in the comment space.
Peace and Love
