I caught myself daydreaming a few times about the plans that were made for today... About the person I didn't get the chance to introduce to my family and about the smile I didn't get the chance to expose. I guess it is much easier to pretend that I am doing much better than I actually am. At least for the time being. I have to admit that it is harder than I thought it would be. Everyone seems to have so much to be thankful for... and I guess on the outside looking in, I am supposed to be thankful too.
I will let you in on a little secret... I still cry because of the damage that was done. I still wake up some times wishing I had taken a different route in my sleep. But we will keep that between us.
Like Chris Brown says, "Lucky me. I gotta pose for the cameras. Even when my world's falling down, I still wear a smile. Lucky me. Even though I'm so damaged. I gotta pick myself up and perform for the crowd."
Even though I wouldn't wish anything that I have been through on anyone, I spent a great deal of time today wondering what I am thankful for. Since I don't have much to say in reference to my own situation and my own life, I will share with everyone what I am thankful for.
I am thankful that the ones around me that I love have a reason to be thankful, even if I don't. Happy Thanksgiving to all...
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